When couples have an opportunity to express their conflicts and desires, to hear each other, in a neutral setting, they have a chance to deepen or rebuild a more caring, calm and loving life. Couples counseling is not about a therapist giving rules, or making judgemental pronouncements. Counseling entails an honest, even if at times painful, expression of feelings and life experiences. As a person comes to know oneself better, he or she is able to know one’s partner better. In order to get to such a place some exploration of each partner’s history is often helpful, since in order to know where one is, so to speak, one has to know where one came from. As anger and/or misconceptions lessen, as sexual conflicts are resolved, as power issues or personality styles are explored, couples can frequently refind their common life path.  The  goal of counseling is to offer a place where change is possible, solutions can be realized, and transgressions may be forgiven. Respectful, informed listening, is basic for any productive therapeutic experience. Therapy builds, as I have mentioned, on personal honesty, on a willingness to talk about one’s conflicts, and involves a commitment of time and finances.